Truths: The marketing black hole

So, it happened yesterday. I am sure you have seen those “live” signs? For a while they were on every busy street corner. People shaking signs to get your attention, some of them even dressed in a costume like the statue of Liberty or a furry bunny. They offered up, “Sandwiches for $5.00” or “Your Taxes done TODAY” or like the one yesterday, “Store Closing 20-40% off EVERYTHING!”

Here in the midst of an ice storm were numerous people lining a busy street in McHenry waving signs that read, “Borders CLOSING – everything on SALE.”

Let’s start with the real horror: a bookstore is CLOSING! I am a writer, a writer with a novel in progress and the thought, or should I say reality, that a book store is closing is pretty devastating to me. My life long dream is to see my book published and displayed in a store just like Borders – is my pipe dream lost forever?

I know, I know – its not that people aren’t reading its just that they aren’t going to bookstores to get books and also true is that people have turned to those “Kindle” things where they can download a hundred books and just take this 8” computer with them anywhere. No heavy books to carry, no library late fees, no nothing. So, sadly, places like Borders begin to disappear.

It breaks my heart – especially the heart of my writer self. I really want my book displayed when people walk into a bookstore. I want to see the book jacket, I want to physically hold the book in my hand, I want to sign copies for my “fans.” I want the whole damn dream.

But enough about that… Borders is closing and that means a sale.

I always felt bad for the people holding the signs on the corner. It seemed humiliating to me – and at the same time was a haunting reminder of how horrible our economy had become. In the depression, they used to pay people to wear barrels with advertising on them as a way for people to earn money – to me, holding these signs on street corners was just a modern billboard for, “we are facing the depression of 2009, 2010, 20…”

I also always questioned if those signs really made a difference. That is until yesterday.

My daughter had asked if we could go to Borders because she has a gift card (which of course she left at home but I could buy the books and then she would give me the gift card). I said no we weren’t going – we had other things to do.

That is until we saw one of those people holding one of those signs telling us that we could save 40%. Well, that changed everything.

A sudden u-turn and we found ourselves amongst the hundred other people who also saw the signs and were desperate for a bargain book.

As we made our way to the front door passing numerous people carrying full bags – we walked in and it was as though we had been transported to the Eve of Christmas – the store was packed with people!

Abby went off to the “stuff aisle” filled with pencil cases and notebooks and a myriad of other unnecessary things – why did I ever think she was there to get actual books?

And I meandered to the magazines because they were 40% off. I found a writing one and a Packer one for my husband and when Abby returned from what she would consider Heaven on Earth – I found myself drawn to the cookbooks. Crazy, right? But I am still working towards making cooking something I enjoy and cookbooks on sale seemed like an appropriate way to further my education.

The thing about cookbooks is that even though there are hundreds of them – no matter what one you open you are bound to see a recipe for curry chicken or black bean soup or braised lamb, or… you get the idea… see in our family NO ONE is ever going to eat those things. Why isn’t there a cookbook for “normal” if not tastebud challenged people?

I don’t want curry in my beef stew. I don’t want sage on my turkey. I don’t want a salad that looks like someone just pulled the weeds in my garden. I don’t want to go to 10 different grocery stores just to find some spice that a recipe calls for.

I just want simple, good food.

I must be the only one.

We spent 30 minutes in that section – much to Abby’s dismay. Who at many times throughout the half hour asked, “Why are you even looking at these books – you don’t use the cookbooks you have?”

I did come across two that I later bought. The first couldn’t be more appropriate, “Martha Stewart Cooking School.” This book was written for me.

There are 200 recipes in it and most of them seem “normal.” But more importantly it explains in easy to read detail how to do all those things I never knew. Such as how to make a cream soup, how to boil lobster, how to bake clams, how to de-bone Dover Sole and my favorite, “How to fold butter into dough” – Are you kidding me?? But, I am going to do that before the year is over.

The second book is Campbell’s soup recipes – I don’t believe there is a casserole out there I haven’t loved when it had some kind of Campbell’s soup in it. Now that is true cuisine!

At some point between Martha and Campbell – Abby had walked away and began searching for her own books – she came back with two. Yay, my daughter isn’t illiterate!

When Abby had originally asked to go to Borders my one thought was to get this newer book out by Merrill Markoe, “Nose Down, Eyes Up.” I had read, “Walking in Circles Before Lying Down” and laughed almost the whole way through – I was looking forward to reading more of her work.

Well, seeing that sale sign at the stoplight intersection must have been orchestrated by fate because wouldn’t you know that Borders had one book by Markoe and yes, it was “Nose Down, Eyes Up.”

I couldn’t have been happier (at that moment).

Abby and I wandered through the fitness section gazing for Yoga books – made another trip to the young adult section, fumbled to the toddler section for my grandkids and then while we were in the very back of the store – got in line!

Yes, we stood in line for 30 minutes. But, it wasn’t that bad – we were able to browse hundreds of books as we made our way to the front. And, who am I kidding – we picked up a half a dozen new ones for our basket along the way.

The people in line were all jovial – not the typical holiday crowd who is always agitated and in a hurry. Nope these people were all out buying for themselves and allowing themselves to believe they were saving money – even though the only things that were actually a full 40% off were the magazines.

While we were in line – an ambulance pulled up – apparently someone had slipped on the ice and cracked their head open (just what Borders needs right now – a lawsuit!)

As we checked out and I read the sign that said, “Absolutely no returns – ALL SALES FINAL” the clerk asked if I wanted my receipt in the bag or with me to which I replied, “Does it matter? Can’t return anything anyway.”

We made our way back to the car – cautiously walking on the entire parking lot of black ice – (you would think Borders would put some salt down). More cars were pulling in looking for spots… The hustle and bustle probably wouldn’t die down for weeks.

And the truth of it is while those signs read 20-40% off everything – they really only mean 20% since none of the actual books are more than 20% off… and I have to believe that if Borders would have just always sold their books for 20% less – they might not have ever went bankrupt. Or if nothing else, at least advertised 40% off and kept a small corner in the back with useless items on clearance… The influx of people would have never stopped.

Maybe all they really needed was one of those damn signs on the street corner all along?

At any rate – my kitchen cabinet is a little fuller, my daughter’s junk drawer a little more stuffed and our thirst for reading a little more quenched – all because of some guy standing in a barrel on route 31.