Last week, as I was bringing in Sadie for what would be a very telling surgery – a young couple was sitting in the parking lot. I could see that the woman was in the backseat with a dog and I could easily see that she was crying.
I knew what was about to happen.
Sadie and I made our way to the lobby – I felt the couple needed to time without Sadie and I overlooking…
As we sat down – the couple came in with their dog, a mixed breed of something like a husky and a shepherd. The dog didn’t make it in the front door and started peeing all over the floor. It was obvious that he had lost control of his bladder.
The young woman was crying and I could hold back no more…I started crying.
Two of our 4 dogs are getting older… in the 9-12 year old range and seeing that couple only brought to the surface what is ahead for us in the near future.
In fact, it might be nearer than I even thought.
See Sadie was going in for surgery to have a larger mass removed from her mammary gland. The truth be told – I had found something a few months back…But thought it was just an infection. It turned out to be a very suspicious mass… and I found out yesterday that she has mammary cancer.
I rescued Sadie 6 years ago. I saw a 1” picture of her on Petfinder.com and who knows why but I had to have her. I drove 8 hours one way based on a 3 sentence description and picture I needed a magnifying glass to even see.
Sadie turned out to be a biter – I guess more of a nipper – but with sharp teeth. There has rarely been a time when one of us wasn’t holding her by the collar when a guest entered our home.
It is also true that Sadie was saved by the rescue I adopted her from. Her papers from the Missouri Animal Control said she was a biter and knowing what I know after working in Animal Control she would have been euthanized if a rescue didn’t come and take her.
For 6 years, Sadie has been a great dog, minus the biting. She is loving and sweet and has never had an accident (a real feat in our house).
And now, tomorrow, after more tests are done, we will know how much the cancer has spread and ultimately, how much longer we will be able to have Sadie in our family.
It certainly makes you stop and think.
We have 4 dogs and 3 cats – and there is rarely a day that goes by that I don’t say, “Oh what I would give to have ONE dog.”
And yet, now that the circumstances deal me the possibility of lessening my herd… it breaks my heart. Each of the 7 adds a dimension to our home. Obviously, we have the biter, then the neurotic, then the happy, the wimpy… those are the dogs… For the cats, we have the psychotic, the fat and the one who wants to be a dog. Taking any one of them away changes everything.
We had thought that it would be Buddy who went first.. He is the oldest and is senile and getting grumpier by the day… But to find that Sadie is the sick one. We thought her feisty little self would last forever.
When Sadie went to the vet two weeks ago, we also found that she suffers from severe osteoarthritis and probably has the beginnings of Cushings disease an illness that ultimately paralyzes the dog with its symptoms. Sadie is not well… and it is so hard to grasp.
She is on meds right now – for practically everything – pain, infection and arthritis… and they are making her a frisky dog again – despite the huge incision that lines her belly.
Maybe it will be a year before we walk into that vet clinic like that young couple or maybe it will be just a few months… Every pet owner dreads that day no matter when it comes no matter if it is planned or sudden…
And yet, those days never even come to mind when you see a dog on petfinder that captures your heart. For you know that that dog will add something to your life that you never knew existed and you will be a better person because of it.
As pet owners we become more tolerant, more loving, more compassionate. We take an extra moment to breathe by walking with our dogs, throwing a ball or just lying beside them watching football. They are there for us when no one else is and every time we walk in the house they greet us like we were gone for a year.
They never judge us or demand anything from us. The love us unconditionally even after we yell or fail to share our dinner with them. They are just grateful for anything we give them.
It is no wonder that when their time comes to a close – we find ourselves heartbroken and empty – as though we betrayed them and failed to live up to their expectations.
But they never had any expectations for us… They only asked that we be kind, a warm place to sleep, a full bowl and fresh water to drink. And if we could ask them – they would also add – they don’t ever want us to see them suffer… but that is the hardest thing of all to give them because it means they are no longer with us and as humans we can be selfish…
Sadie’s day could come before I am ever ready, if ready is even possible, and for each day until then – I will make sure to give her an extra hug, a bigger treat and say the words, “I love you.” But none of that will ever make up for all that she has given me.
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