Truths: I’m there…

Twenty years ago I would have put on my tightest jeans and my hottest top, spent over an hour getting ready and met my girlfriends at a bar – where we would have downed bottles of beer, barely touched our food and then, went to a club to dance the night away – even if it were the middle of the week. (and yes, we would have been hungover in the morning thrown our hair in a pony tail and made a dash for work)

Last night as I dressed in a nice sweater and the best jeans I have – which happen to be about 5 years old and touched up my hair after a day of cleaning the house and planting flowers in the rain…I left at 4:30 to meet two of my close college friends at The Cheesecake Factory.

Two of us managed to get in a little shopping before dinner and showed up with bags from stores like Coldwater Creek, Lord and Taylor and I had a huge bag filled with clothes from Baby Gap – I am a grandma!)

I ordered a pop and a water (because I can’t drink during the week due to a bet I have with another friend) and my two friends did order mojitos… but only one – after that, they went to Michelob Ultra (they didn’t have MGD 64) all because they were watching their calories. (and basically, saving them for cheesecake)

We each ordered a meal – which we easily ate at least ½ of and didn’t dash off to a club but sat there for 4+ hours talking. (The server did mention at 11pm that they were closing and she subtly thanked us for taking up her whole shift…)

Yep, 4 hours talking…and its important to say what we talked about. We spent a lot of time talking about our marriages, some about our kids, some about the sad fact that we actually do like a few of the clothes at Coldwater Creek…and we talked about the PTO, our hostility towards schools dictating what we can pack in our kids lunches, banning books…

Don’t get me wrong – looking back I think I enjoyed last night more than any night in a club – or at least this is what I enjoy at “my age.”

Last Sunday, as I was looking over my legs and Bill was putting together a mailbox – I found an unsightly truth – I have a few spider veins!

Tuesday, Abby and I were at Claires and I caught a glimpse of myself in a full length mirror and gasped. I was wearing a decent shirt, some denim shorts and sandals – thinking I looked okay – but when I saw me in the mirror – all I saw was the mom of a preteen… She looked all cute and put together and I, well, looked 40.

Its also come to the point where no matter what I do or what I wear my daughter has something to say about it and rarely is it ever kind. My earrings are hideous (they are just silver hoops), I, to her horror, wore the same shorts two days in a row, and it is appaulling that I actually have a few shirts from Aero. Not to mention her comment one day when I told her that Taylor’s mom bought the same Aero sweatshirt as I did and she said, “Well, Nancy will look good in it.”

I spent Wednesday night at the salon – 3+ hours basically foiling my hair so the grey doesn’t show and I have spent enough time on the treadmill, doing yoga and thousands of sit ups that I should look like… well, something I don’t.

Yep, I am there… that place of middle age. The place of realization. And, it kinda sucks.

You look in the mirror thinking you see yourself 20 years ago – and then, you are caught off guard at the mall with a glimpse of a person you don’t recognize.

Yeah, of course there are good things about this age... what are they?

Really, I am ok. I knew going into this year when I turned 40 right out of the gate…that things were headed down a different road. That clubbing it and shopping in the Jr. department were no longer in the cards for me.

I haven’t started going to dinner for the early bird special, so far I can’t get the Sr. discount, and I don’t read the obituaries…(sometimes I do).

But, I am aging.

But more importantly, beyond the spider veins and the embarrassment I cause my daughter – is 20 years of friendships. Last night as we tucked our shopping bags under the table – we were 20 again. Sure our life issues stem beyond what the cool bars are and who we “mashed with” over the weekend… But when it comes right down to it – “being here” is just as good as “being there” because the friendships I have now – mean so much more.