Truths: The Trouble with First Days

So, I am sitting in my daughter’s room, under her loft, typing this blog… and that is an indication of how my first day on the job went.

See yesterday was IT – my first scheduled day to work on my book. I took the dogs for a walk at 9am – showered and sat at my desk at 10am ready to begin my job. (Okay, I was 20 minutes late for work…but at least I didn’t get in trouble!)

I was a bit anxious. They say the things hardest to start are the ones you care most about and well, starting this job was going to be no exception.

Where to start was even hard – do I re-read the 180 pages I have written? Do I look back at the pieces I revised during the writing conference? Do I just start writing?

Well, I did a combination of all of them. I began by digging out my notes from the retreat – re-reading the first 10 pages of my manuscript and then - feet first – began revising and writing.

As I clicked on the first page to begin typing, I noticed that the click button on my laptop mouse was not working… so, I dragged out the old fashion mouse and clicked away. It was a brief hurdle but I was too engaged and too excited to think it through.

I typed away – brainstorming how if I were the reader I would want to see the story – what I would want to feel – what I would want to see on the first chapter… and then my mouse didn’t work.

I didn’t have time for this. I unplugged it and plugged it back in and kept going. A moment of creativity is not something you can just stop – it must keep going.

Type, type, type – I couldn’t stop… What seemed like a mountain to climb that morning was now seeming like a hill – I could do this – one chapter at a time.

And, then my screen went blank and the computer went to sleep. Huh? So, I hit the return button twice and “bam!” it went back on, my document was there and I kept going – almost finished with re-writing chapter one.

My gut instinctively told me to hit the save button – which was also freeing – because I relabeled it “chapter one” and felt good about it.

I began chapter two… and the computer pulled its little hissy fit a few more times and that is when I began to really worry. Somehow, I managed to think logically and found a hard drive I could back my data onto. You know the kind of thing you buy when someone tells you to – but then wait for a rainy day to actually use it.

Apparently, it hasn’t rained in Woodstock since. I opened the dusty box and actually followed the directions to set it up… as I clicked on the drive and began what I think was backing up my computer – my computer shut down.

Are you kidding me?

I turned it back on and while freaking out – managed to copy my book to the hardrive and then tried – what would be 15 times – all unsuccessfully – to back-up my whole computer.

Oh, I should mention that before the total breakdown – I did manage to schedule an appointment for today at the Apple store with one of the “Genius” people – I can only hope that Genius is what they are.

This morning I crossed my fingers and ran to my computer to see if it finished backing up the system – only to find that my computer is DEAD… D-E-A-D – dead!

There are a lot of ways to look at this – the most obvious being that writing this book is a ridiculous idea. The book Gods are laughing at me and only trying to avert me from complete failure.

I mean what are the odds that the first day I decide to dedicate my time to working on my book – my computer dies?

I could also look at it – that I was able to save my book – out of all the things that are on my computer – that is the one thing that was saved for sure. (I can cry later if Apple can’t re-store everything else and I face the reality that the last 5 years of pictures are gone forever)

But, I have my book and THAT must mean something.

It HAS to mean something, right?

So THAT was my first day – when Bill came home last night and would usually be talking about his day and the tons of meetings he was stuck in – it was ME who whined about my first day of work: I was late and my computer crashed… I think I won the worst first day award!

Please… cross your fingers for me that when I enter the Apple store this afternoon – the computer Gods will shine down upon me and rescue me from this complete disaster.