Truths (Tails): 24 hours of ups and downs

Aaah – I think yesterday was the first day of what was to be normal since Abby went back to school. First we had my stepdaughter’s wedding and then the clean-up that came after that, then we left for San Diego for our grandson’s 1st birthday, I spent the first days back clearing out my office so I could once again get a fresh start working on my book… And truthfully, I think I needed to take control of my life in some small way…and then yesterday…

Aaah but yesterday turned out to be full of ups and downs…

(Down) it started with an emergency trip to the vet because Sadie had an ulcerated wound right where they found the cancer. We did xrays and luckily (Up) the cancer has not spread to her lungs and (Up) they decided not to do another biopsy. We are going to treat the wound with antibiotics first and hope it heals. Otherwise (Down) it could be the return of the cancer.

(Up) Thorp went back to school yesterday. We got to see all of the kids and they were so excited to have us back. At one point we were playing with a new little girl and (Down) she wanted to play petstore and I would come to buy Thorp. I know this was an innocent act of pretend play but I couldn’t help but gulp to myself. Knowing where Thorp came from and the mills that I saw – playing petstore with Thorp seemed like a cruel irony. Why on Earth couldn’t she have suggested I adopt him from a shelter?

(Up) One of the contractors came to bid part of the remodel job. He was really nice and I think he will do a good job. He didn’t quote yesterday but (Down) I am certain it will be a lot!

(Up) As I was actually working on my book and looking through files for agents who might have an interest – I found one, Gordon, who I couldn’t help get excited about. He looked like a really laid back kind of guy and best of all – he had an interest in nonfiction dog books! My heart raced and I swore fate had intervened. So, I typed up my query and with the blessing of my best friend and writing colleague I hit the send button. My stomach was in knots. Kelly said it could be up to three months before I would hear from him. How would I ever wait that long when I was already on pins and needles?

(Up) To sidetrack my anxiety, I put on my Packer shirt and Bill and I ordered pizza and sat down to watch the highly anticipated Green Bay Packers versus the New Orleans Saints game – the first official kick-off of the NFL season! And (Up) the Packers won! But, I have to admit, (Down) I fell asleep before the end.

(Down) I woke up this morning and as always checked my email and there was one from Gordon. Gasp! But, in a polite way he said, “Sorry, this does not fit my list at this time.” Sigh… My first rejection. And I am sure there will be more. I can’t lie it hurts. To have this idea you have poured your heart into – this passion that led you to write in the first place… and to hear, for the first time, its not a fit… It stings a little.

But… (Up) I don’t feel defeated. I can’t. Hell, I just re-did my office to get back in the groove and I took my first shot. I wrote a query I am sure I can use again and overall, I am better for all of it.

That’s my last 24 hours. People sometimes wonder what us people who don’t work for a paycheck do… and I think that a day like yesterday is pretty typical for most of us.

Today the roller coaster starts again.