OMG – do we have sucker written on our faces or what? My life has been nothing but mishaps and disappointments in the last few weeks – no, actually a month!
From stoves and sinks to TV’s and now Direct TV and a fridge.
Let me start with the fridge. It was delivered yesterday. The fridge that led to the new stove that doesn’t fit and now needs to be customized. That led to the stainless sink that didn’t fit and my husband needed to saw through the concrete and now the fridge.
Two nice men came to the door – and asked to see where it would go – the new shiny, pretty stainless steel fridge – the completion to the set. The one appliance we actually needed – and of course, the one we waited for the longest.
I suddenly remembered that I never cleaned out the old fridge – which now grew with mold. Ooops… But what the Hell right? It is just going in a landfill to ruin the environment – might as well add something organic to the mix.
Anyway, with some struggle they removed the old fridge, breaking off the handles and dropping it on the driveway… and the new one entered the house. It was like the Oscars with the actors and actresses walking down the red carpet. The anticipation of what they were wearing…
And again, with some struggle they found the fridge its new home and it seemed, unbelievable, without a scratch.
Oh yeah, somewhere in between the old one going out and the new one coming in – I managed to scrub the inch of filth off the floor – throw out one of Abby’s Picassos and re-read a report card from 1st grade…
The spot was shiny and the fridge shiny and everything was shiny – for a little while.
As the nice man hooked up the water line – all of our power in the house went out. (I later learned that our whole side of the street’s power went out) I thought maybe he had plugged in the fridge and blew a circuit – but no, someone must have hit an electric pole instead of a squirrel and saved a life – ruining mine in the balance.
No, it is not the worse thing in the world. I know that – but with the power out – that meant that they wouldn’t be able to run the water line or make sure that the fridge even works. And we all know – that with my luck – the fridge won’t work and Best Buy won’t take it back.
I signed the delivery paper and made the man note on the paperwork that we were unable to run the fridge due to a power outage. I know he thought I was crazy but based on the last few weeks of my life – I trust nothing. It has become a very jaded world for me.
Since we didn’t have power, we didn’t have a phone so I texted a picture of the new fridge to my husband – it was sitting in its new home – looking sexy and most importantly – fitting in its space.
That is until my husband called and said, “Have you tried to open the cabinets above the fridge?”
Uh… no…. and while on the phone with him – I attempted what should have been an easy task – and to no avail. The front of the fridge is higher that than the back and even though it fits – the cabinet doors cannot open.
Are you kidding me? Well, the truth of the matter is that whatever is in those cabinets is there because I never use it – so does it matter? And if I decided I do use any of it – I can change it out – and replace it with my cookbooks because I never use those!
Okay, one thing down… and while not perfect compared to the rest of the mishaps – not too bad.
At 3pm the Direct TV installer, Ken, shows up. Now don’t forget that the power is still out… when I tell him he cringes wondering how he will be able to complete the installation but shrugs it off and says, “Let’s take a look at where everything is going.”
Now before I get too carried away with a story that makes me cry and will make you laugh – lets refresh all of our brains and state that the guy who sold us on Direct TV told us that everything would be easy. No big deal…and then finished with, “just sign here on the dotted line.”
We were glazed over that night with the mere thought of purchasing the biggest TV we have ever owned and envisioning the football games we would watch while snacking on chips and drinking cold beer from our new bar. Getting the magic NFL ticket from Direct TV was a dream come true….
Or so we thought.
Should I be surprised that things didn’t go all that smooth?
So, I showed Ken the current location of the Comcast box – which started us down the path of everything that could go wrong would. At first it was that we had internet and phone with Comcast and he would have to cut the box… then he decided because it was wireless –it would could be done and he could bypass the system.
Few, one down…a hundred more to go.
Next was the fact that our old house was wired with the wrong cable lines. Apparently, what they don’t tell you when you sign on the dotted line is that your cabling needs to be up to date. And while Direct TV might have the NFL ticket they do not have the capability to run on some R59 cable.
Once Ken found all of the wrong cable in our house, he proceeded to explain that he could run all new cable – some of which would start on one side of our house and then loop over the roof, the garage, against the side of the house until it would find its way to the new Direct TV box. This pattern would be repeated one other time – all for the low, low price of a $1.00 a foot.
A call to my husband.
We want the NFL package, right?
Of course we do.
Next came the problem that all of the TVs in the basement weren’t hooked up. That would be a problem programming them with the Direct TV.
Okay, well, Best Buy informed us that they didn’t want to come out to set up the TVs until the Direct TV was installed. It is kind of like the age old proverb, “What came first the chicken or the egg?”
That one, as far as I know, has never been solved and this dilemma wouldn’t be either.
As Ken strung yards of cable around our house like lights on a Christmas tree – my husband came home in-time to hook up the TVs. You can imagine our struggle – after once having a broken TV and Best Buy refusing to replace it.
We wanted the Geek Squad to hook it up – so they would be liable. But life doesn’t work the way you plan and so we ever so carefully took this giant TV out of the box – while holding our breath and praying to the TV gods that this time we were going to get lucky.
Well, you can breathe now – because it did work and that part of the night was okay. Finally, we caught a break.
But, that break would last about as long as wave crashing on a beach… Ken came to tell us that the most important TV – this beauty that we just unloaded from the box – only had that crazy R59 cable running to it and so it wouldn’t work with the HD system.
Sigh, tears…
And it only gets better… That whole part of the house is finished and it backs up to a concrete wall – so there is no good or easy way to solve the problem. We will need a very experienced and ambitious electrician.
It was like Christmas morning where you open the biggest box, hoping for the best present ever, only to find that its underwear and that was the last box Santa had t o use.
It was 9pm now (Ken got there at 3pm, remember) and while the 6 hours was filled with problems and disappointments – it was coming to an end. Now we would just have to figure out how to use the remote and find a number to call the best electrician out there.
Ken left, we ate pizza and all crawled to bed. Another messed up day at the Monroe house.
But, HA – even though the sun has rose and I wake to embrace a new day – I am left to discover that Ken never bypassed the Comcast system – no he cut the cable – leaving us without phone service – which wouldn’t be the end of the world – but tore us away from life’s precious gift: the internet!
As I type this – I am crying inside and waiting to call Ken…
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