Truths: “A” what?

It happened – I don’t know how… but Abby brought home her report card and written near the top it said, “Congratulations, you made high honor roll.”

Now to some parents that would be expected – something to read aloud and then put away – perhaps atop all of the other report cards that read the same way.

But in our house – that is not the case.

Abby isn’t slow, she doesn’t have a learning disability and has always done okay in school academically. I am proud to say that socially the teachers have always liked her and commended her for being kind and helpful and respectful.

We lived on those attributes for the last 6 years – saying that we were grateful to have raised a daughter who was those things – and that allowed us to accept that she was not going to be U of Illinois material. (Okay, these are things I struggled with… I spend my time writing for a living – how could my daughter be unable to complete a sentence. Why is it that I, at 10 years old, wrote pages of creative writing and she could barely complete a paragraph on her favorite summer vacation?)

Yes, I struggled and silently convinced myself that none of that mattered. Abby possessed what was important – the skills to be a good and gracious human being. Those, of course, are what matter on the road of life…

But, really deep down – I had aspirations for her – going to U of I – pledging my sorority – doing everything that I did… Because that is what parents do – want what they enjoyed for their children. (Okay, maybe I don’t want Abby to embark down everything I did… I had a lot of fun in college…) but I wanted to go down for parents weekend and visit her at my alma mater)

For the last two years we have toyed with the idea o f going down to Champaign for a football game so Abby could start to get the Illini bug… to see the campus and be mesmerized with the college spirit. Start ‘em young right? Brainwash them – make them feel like there is nowhere else they would rather be…

It’s sick, yes…but reality is that way.

But, with Abby being an average student – well, it almost seemed cruel. To set her heart on a school that academically would be a great feat for her… To set her up for failure – well, that was never part of the plan.

So, we stalled – we didn’t go to the games and we didn’t say much about the school – even though she already began to want to go there.

I am an honest parent and I tend to treat Abby as an adult and tell it like it is… so when she has brought up going to U of I – I have bluntly explained that she would need to pick up her grades and take school seriously – because to get in – she has to be in the top of her class.

I never said it meanly – I just wanted her to know that to have aspirations must also mean setting goals for yourself.

Usually, she would shrug her shoulders and walk away. And I would get out my college scrapbook and re visit my younger days – when late nights and skipped classes were my aspirations!

Abby started jr, high this year – and as far as we can tell – has done a fabulous job making the transition. It has been seamless and unbelievably – she has become so responsible and so much more interested in doing well in school.

She gets her homework done without constantly being told to do it – she keeps great notes and organizes her schoolwork. She keeps a calendar full of dates when things are due. I have no idea what happened – but somehow, along the way, she grew up.

That became amazingly true when she brought home her report card yesterday and it read, “Congratulations, you have made the high honor roll.”

I read it in disbelief. I re-checked that it was her name at the top of the paper – re-checked the grades and the teacher comments and basically sat gaping at my daughter’s report card – wondering what they did with Abby.

I am still wondering…

But, of course, I am elated. Sure I have pulled up the college application on the web and thought about printing it out to place on her desk as a reward… a motivation…

Or maybe I could buy her an ILLINI sweatshirt or a Gamma Phi Beta one as she journey’s toward MY dream… MY legacy.

It’s a hard choice right now – what to say – or how to say to her that we are so proud of her. I mean sure those words are easy – but do we load them with other expectations – glimpses of possibilities now?

No, probably not. We tell her how proud we are – what an amazing job she did and we leave it at that – we continue to do whatever it is that we have done to get her to here and we hang the report card on the fridge to show her it is important.

And okay… we subtly mention that we are getting tickets to next year’s homecoming game…