Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Tails: It is not as black and white as a Dalmatian

Okay, so things in my house have settled down – but all around me are people screaming at the NFL for praising Michael Vick on his recent football successes.

For those of you who might live under a rock – a few years back Michael Vick was convicted of racketeering and sent to prison for 18 months. While the charge was officially racketeering – the truth was he was housing a dog fighting operation.

There are no good dog fighting operations – but Vick’s was really bad. There were rape tables to breed the dogs against their will, their were electrocutions, bait dogs, the females had all of their teeth removed so that they wouldn’t fight back while being bred – I think you get the picture.

Dogs were being mutilated for money at Michael Vick’s house and regardless of who you are – that should make you angry.

Well, it did make the entire Humane community upset. I can’t quite remember the exact number of dogs pulled from Vick’s house – but I believe that 46 of them were saved and sent to various rescues. 22 of them found homes at Best Friends Animal Society – some of which might spend their lives at the sanctuary because they are unadoptable due to the emotional scars (and some physical) from their tragic past.

Vick served his time – and is now playing for the Philadelphia Eagles. In fact, he is playing better than he ever has before – So good that he is setting NFL records and will be featured on the front cover of Sports Illustrated this week.

Which has spurred controversy - lots of it – in the animal rights community.

Now, every Sunday or Monday or even Thursday – I find a reason to bitch about Michael Vick and how the NFL should have never allowed him back into the league. To which my husband always counters with, “Well, there are players who have been accused and even found guilty of rape and drugs and the NFL lets them back in.”

True.

I think someone just commented that the NFL – should really stand for, “The National Felons League.” Sounds good to me.

It should also be said that above our new bar stands 12 bottles of wine – one for each of the Vick dogs rescued by Best Friends Animal Society. They offered them as a fundraising campaign -we could only afford to buy 12 of the 22. But, at any rate – they are now showcased at our bar along with the Sport Illustrated magazine that featured one of the Vick dogs on the cover and a story about what happened.

See, while our basement glows green and gold for the Packers – we thought it was important that any guest we had – know a bit about what Vick did.

Okay, more background… once Vick got out of prison – he found his way to the Humane Society of the United States (HSUS) where he serves as an ambassador for anti-dog fighting campaigns.

No, I don’t know if I support that or not.

But, anyway, people I know are mad about Vick being on the cover of SI. I guess it does make me mad – but this is how I have found some peace…

SI has done pieces on the dogs Vick had and has said in print what a horrible thing it was. SI reached people who might otherwise know nothing about dog fighting. One of SI’s editors, Jim Gorant, has written a book titled, “The Lost Dogs” which is all about what happened and where the dogs are today. Because a SI editor wrote it – there will, again, be people who pick up the book who otherwise wouldn’t.

Almost every time that Michael Vick has been interviewed for his NFL profession the issue of dog fighting is raised. Those interviews reach millions of people – millions of people are being made aware of the tragedy of dog fighting.

I am appalled at what Michael Vick did and personally, I could never forgive him. And, I could, for the rest of my life, bitch and moan about it every week during football season. But, the silver lining to it all – is that society is learning about the cruelty of dog fighting, they are learning that it exists all over the world and in every socio-economic level and amongst every demographic.

Each week when Vick plays – the world is reminded of what he did and it spurs conversation – more conversation than would have ever taken place.

It should have never happened in the first place. What Michael Vick did was an atrocity – a sick behavior that uses innocent creatures as fighting machines – dogs lost their lives in cruel ways and forgiving Michael Vick isn’t something most people in my circles could ever do… But, at the same time – his comeback of the century is also a billboard about dog fighting – a perpetual neon sign – reminding people about the horridness of dog fighting and the importance to end it.

I think we owe it to all of the dogs who lost their lives and the ones rescued still waiting to find good homes – to embrace what the media is giving us – a voice reaching millions of people every week about ending dog fighting – because isn’t that what's important, anyway?

Monday, November 22, 2010

Truths: Picking up the pieces

Well, as I write this – it is pouring rain outside. And normally that wouldn’t bother me – but we placed about 25 bags worth of giveaway stuff outside. Yes, it is under our front porch – but not exactly 100% safe from the elements. Just my luck, right?

And, it didn’t seem to start raining until I worked up the ambition to take the dogs for a run. 100 steps into it – the rain came tumbling down. Should I expect anything less?

The truth is – things are getting better. Amongst the chaos and conundrum of everything – I am learning to find the bright side. Is there really any other choice?

Twenty five bags sit outside and an entire dumpster filled – certainly that must be a sign that the crap in my life is literally leaving. The closets are emptier, the garage neater and overall, our life is starting to seem lighter.

As my husband and I stared at the tires stacked up in the garage from his previous sports car – I laughed. Thinking of how just months ago – they were sitting in our basement along with a fur lined couch and stinky litter boxes.

Now, the basement shines – with massive TV’s and a reupholstered sofa and meticulously placed Packer pictures. Our life is obviously improving.

The kitchen cabinets are completely cleaned out. Every crevice washed, every dish steamed dry. At the time it all seemed like a huge pain in the ass – but as I wiped the last pan – I realized – this was the kitchen I wanted to start my new hobby of cooking. I know where everything is and everything is organized and clean and ready to go to work.

Perhaps, it was all just meant to be.

They say (whoever “they” are”) that things have to be messy before they can be clean – and well, I guess that is what my life was these last few weeks. A mess.

Maybe it was just to make me appreciate when it would be better. When the piles would be gone and the boxes taken away.

Sigh.

The TV’s work and the appliances have either squeezed their way into their space or have grown accustom to where they sit and all is right with the Monroe household.

Other things have piled up in the meantime – housecleaning (you know where you actually remove dirt from the floor and not just boxes) – laundry… But those, too will be done and life will return to a state of normalcy. And it will be a better normal than normal…

Of course, in the meantime, Christmas will be upon us and the hurriedness of the season will take over. The parties and the presents and the hangovers to go with all of it.

So, right now, for the next few days, I am going to enjoy the peace and quiet. I am going to relish the calm, the tranquil state of the house. I am going to admire the new basement and sit and watch Private Practice on the new TV and then start my “To Do” list again.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Truths: What the Hell happened?

Well, I am taking a break right now. I have to – my sanity depends on this blog dragging me up out of this overwhelming temptation to just run away to a deserted island and hide under a palm tree with a fruity cocktail in my hand.

Or at least somewhere other than where I am.

Instead I wait for Best Buy’s Geek Squad to show and hook up the TV and speakers and explain to me in 5 minutes or less how it all works so that I can spend the rest of my life explaining it to my husband.

Deep breath…

Yep, I am waiting for yet another service call at my house. The Direct TV guy, Ken, did come back on Saturday and after another hour or so – fixed the problem and we now have internet (thank God) and phone. There was, for a few hours, a total sense of uncomfortable isolation from the world – but thanks to him the phone is ringing and the emails flocking in.

However, as I wait for the Geek Squad to show up at my door – any minute now… It has been all day. I am knee deep, no make the head deep, in chaos. I don’t know what happened to my life in the last few months – but I feel like someone took it and gave me this continuum of disasters – one right after the other – leaving my house looking like a tornado just blew through.

Let me brief you on what I am talking about:

The basement is sky high in boxes… Green Bay Packer memorabilia packed away from before I think I was even alive. CD’s stacked as high as me – screaming, “You don’t even listen to me anymore.” Bottles of booze so old that they are now vintage. And of course, cartons of beer glasses and martini stems so dusty that it takes a squeegee to get them clean. That or just a shot of vodka to wipe them out… MMMM the vodka is still good.

Taking all of this “stuff” from the back of the basement also meant sorting passed all the other stuff we have accumulated in the 3 years we have waited to remodel the basement after the flood.

Okay, let me re-phrase that – that I (emphasis here) have accumulated. There I admit it and that is the first step.

So, as I gape at the basement which only days ago was sitting pristinely with its new hickory cabinets, custom woodwork, beautiful re-upholstered leather sectional – I find myself sick – because it is hard to recognize any of that now because it is covered in crap. (MY crap, of course!)

Again, sigh…

So, all of this crap begs the age old question, “Do you think it is time to give some stuff away?”

Yeah, Duh!

But seriously, it is. And that is when things get hard. Why is that? Why, when you come across some old silk plant that hasn’t seen the light of day in years – do you say to yourself, “Oh, but maybe that would look good in the kitchen window – after we repaint and get new cabinets.” Yeah because first off when are you going to repaint and get new kitchen cabinets and second when you do – are you really going to stick some old musty silk plant in the new window?” That is what I thought.

Then there are the things you always intended to give as gifts but liked them so much you couldn’t bare to part with them. This even goes for gift bags and cute boxes that are just “too cute” to actually use. I would have normally felt ridiculous saying that – but my friend, Nancy, was over Sunday and admitted to doing the same thing!

I called one of those charities that for some unknown reason agree to take all of your stuff away for free. No, maybe not everything, but almost everything. They are coming with a truck on Monday.

In the meantime, Bill called a waste company and they are coming tomorrow with a dumptser. Looks like the Monroe’s are serious about doing a clean sweep.

But see – none of that was in the cards for us. Nope, this is the time we should just be setting up the bar and the basement and downing a few beers in celebration that we completed the remodel. We should be getting ready for our first party not packing boxes and getting nostalgic about old toys.

Ugh – why does this stuff happen? What part of remodel means re-construct your whole life?

At the same time – I am cleaning out all of the kitchen cabinets and washing all of the dishes and pans and pots and silverware and whatever else you can shove in a drawer or on a shelf because as some of you might remember – Bill had to saw through concrete to get that damn sink to fit and well, that makes a fricking mess – and that fine dust is still sitting on everything we own.

So, there are boxes in the hallway, enough cardboard in the garage that could fuel a bonfire for days, green and gold garb stretched along the basement walls waiting to be hung up, booze bottles littering the floor and bags of give away stuff lining doorways waiting to ship out… and at the same time my dishwasher is going 24/7 washing kitchen accessories and my counter covered with more.

At the same time that we “moved” into the basement – we also lost some of the furniture we were using in the family room and eating area. Never steal from Peter to pay Paul (or something like that) so, that meant Abby and I would spend 2 hours re-arranging those two rooms with the new furniture we got from the garage.

Every thing that I know is turned upside down right now. None of which I expected. The boxes are growing and the dust only starting to settle and my sanity thrown out the window…

And did I mention that I have started Christmas shopping? Yep, those boxes are sitting in the living room – one of the two rooms that are doored off to the rest of the house – two rooms that are pet free, people free but even they have been exposed to the plague of brown cardboard and in a little corner I see some green and gold. Damn the Packers!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Truths: If it can go wrong, it will.

OMG – do we have sucker written on our faces or what? My life has been nothing but mishaps and disappointments in the last few weeks – no, actually a month!

From stoves and sinks to TV’s and now Direct TV and a fridge.

Let me start with the fridge. It was delivered yesterday. The fridge that led to the new stove that doesn’t fit and now needs to be customized. That led to the stainless sink that didn’t fit and my husband needed to saw through the concrete and now the fridge.

Two nice men came to the door – and asked to see where it would go – the new shiny, pretty stainless steel fridge – the completion to the set. The one appliance we actually needed – and of course, the one we waited for the longest.

I suddenly remembered that I never cleaned out the old fridge – which now grew with mold. Ooops… But what the Hell right? It is just going in a landfill to ruin the environment – might as well add something organic to the mix.

Anyway, with some struggle they removed the old fridge, breaking off the handles and dropping it on the driveway… and the new one entered the house. It was like the Oscars with the actors and actresses walking down the red carpet. The anticipation of what they were wearing…

And again, with some struggle they found the fridge its new home and it seemed, unbelievable, without a scratch.

Oh yeah, somewhere in between the old one going out and the new one coming in – I managed to scrub the inch of filth off the floor – throw out one of Abby’s Picassos and re-read a report card from 1st grade…

The spot was shiny and the fridge shiny and everything was shiny – for a little while.

As the nice man hooked up the water line – all of our power in the house went out. (I later learned that our whole side of the street’s power went out) I thought maybe he had plugged in the fridge and blew a circuit – but no, someone must have hit an electric pole instead of a squirrel and saved a life – ruining mine in the balance.

No, it is not the worse thing in the world. I know that – but with the power out – that meant that they wouldn’t be able to run the water line or make sure that the fridge even works. And we all know – that with my luck – the fridge won’t work and Best Buy won’t take it back.

I signed the delivery paper and made the man note on the paperwork that we were unable to run the fridge due to a power outage. I know he thought I was crazy but based on the last few weeks of my life – I trust nothing. It has become a very jaded world for me.

Since we didn’t have power, we didn’t have a phone so I texted a picture of the new fridge to my husband – it was sitting in its new home – looking sexy and most importantly – fitting in its space.

That is until my husband called and said, “Have you tried to open the cabinets above the fridge?”

Uh… no…. and while on the phone with him – I attempted what should have been an easy task – and to no avail. The front of the fridge is higher that than the back and even though it fits – the cabinet doors cannot open.

Are you kidding me? Well, the truth of the matter is that whatever is in those cabinets is there because I never use it – so does it matter? And if I decided I do use any of it – I can change it out – and replace it with my cookbooks because I never use those!

Okay, one thing down… and while not perfect compared to the rest of the mishaps – not too bad.

At 3pm the Direct TV installer, Ken, shows up. Now don’t forget that the power is still out… when I tell him he cringes wondering how he will be able to complete the installation but shrugs it off and says, “Let’s take a look at where everything is going.”

Now before I get too carried away with a story that makes me cry and will make you laugh – lets refresh all of our brains and state that the guy who sold us on Direct TV told us that everything would be easy. No big deal…and then finished with, “just sign here on the dotted line.”

We were glazed over that night with the mere thought of purchasing the biggest TV we have ever owned and envisioning the football games we would watch while snacking on chips and drinking cold beer from our new bar. Getting the magic NFL ticket from Direct TV was a dream come true….

Or so we thought.

Should I be surprised that things didn’t go all that smooth?

So, I showed Ken the current location of the Comcast box – which started us down the path of everything that could go wrong would. At first it was that we had internet and phone with Comcast and he would have to cut the box… then he decided because it was wireless –it would could be done and he could bypass the system.

Few, one down…a hundred more to go.

Next was the fact that our old house was wired with the wrong cable lines. Apparently, what they don’t tell you when you sign on the dotted line is that your cabling needs to be up to date. And while Direct TV might have the NFL ticket they do not have the capability to run on some R59 cable.

Once Ken found all of the wrong cable in our house, he proceeded to explain that he could run all new cable – some of which would start on one side of our house and then loop over the roof, the garage, against the side of the house until it would find its way to the new Direct TV box. This pattern would be repeated one other time – all for the low, low price of a $1.00 a foot.

A call to my husband.

We want the NFL package, right?

Of course we do.

Next came the problem that all of the TVs in the basement weren’t hooked up. That would be a problem programming them with the Direct TV.

Okay, well, Best Buy informed us that they didn’t want to come out to set up the TVs until the Direct TV was installed. It is kind of like the age old proverb, “What came first the chicken or the egg?”

That one, as far as I know, has never been solved and this dilemma wouldn’t be either.

As Ken strung yards of cable around our house like lights on a Christmas tree – my husband came home in-time to hook up the TVs. You can imagine our struggle – after once having a broken TV and Best Buy refusing to replace it.

We wanted the Geek Squad to hook it up – so they would be liable. But life doesn’t work the way you plan and so we ever so carefully took this giant TV out of the box – while holding our breath and praying to the TV gods that this time we were going to get lucky.

Well, you can breathe now – because it did work and that part of the night was okay. Finally, we caught a break.

But, that break would last about as long as wave crashing on a beach… Ken came to tell us that the most important TV – this beauty that we just unloaded from the box – only had that crazy R59 cable running to it and so it wouldn’t work with the HD system.

Sigh, tears…

And it only gets better… That whole part of the house is finished and it backs up to a concrete wall – so there is no good or easy way to solve the problem. We will need a very experienced and ambitious electrician.

It was like Christmas morning where you open the biggest box, hoping for the best present ever, only to find that its underwear and that was the last box Santa had t o use.

It was 9pm now (Ken got there at 3pm, remember) and while the 6 hours was filled with problems and disappointments – it was coming to an end. Now we would just have to figure out how to use the remote and find a number to call the best electrician out there.

Ken left, we ate pizza and all crawled to bed. Another messed up day at the Monroe house.

But, HA – even though the sun has rose and I wake to embrace a new day – I am left to discover that Ken never bypassed the Comcast system – no he cut the cable – leaving us without phone service – which wouldn’t be the end of the world – but tore us away from life’s precious gift: the internet!

As I type this – I am crying inside and waiting to call Ken…

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Truths: “Best Buy” proves “Bad day”

Okay, so the saga at my house continues… Bill and I ventured to Best Buy in McHenry on Friday night – armed with our wallets and new Best But credit card and our hearts set on some new TV’s for our new basement.

When I arrived (doesn’t everyone go to the store in two cars?) Bill was already being hypnotized by the Direct TV salesman who was promising he could beat the price we pay for Comcast and give us better service. None of the really mattered – the real fact is that Direct TV is the only TV provider that offer the NFL ticket. And with a new basement dedicated to being an in-home sports bar – we had to have the NFL ticket. How embarrassing it would be if we had an entire 1200 square feet dedicated to the Green Bay Packers but weren’t able to watch a game?

At any rate, Bill had basically agreed to signing over our first born (we don’t have any kids together but you get the point) and I was left to fill out all of the paperwork and pay for the “great deal” we were getting. I have to admit that giving less of our money to Comcast did feel good.

Well, a half hour later and we were introduced to Jared. A nice sales specialist who was more than happy to sell us a TV. No, he really was nice and in the end spent about 3 hours with us – going through all of the TVs and sound systems and explaining to me how I would be able to listen to Pandora through my new Bosse speakers. It seemed like a dream come true.

Sure Bill and I, at one point, almost justified spending a whole lot of money on a 5” bigger TV (no jokes here, please)…But, in the end we “settled” on a 60”. And yes, I do believe, at some point, my husband was salivating. This was the part of the basement he had been waiting for all along. The Packers on a 60” TV – on any given Sunday.

300 minutes later and whole lot more money poorer and we left Best Buy – dreaming of our Super Bowl party.

That was Friday… on Sunday Bill decided to unwrap his precious 32” TV for over the bar. The 60” wouldn’t be installed for another week. He was like a kid at Christmas. – Totally excited that by 7pm he would be watching the Packers play Dallas at his new bar. (That yes, is already stocked with cold beer)

Well, like Christmas when Santa decides you haven’t cleaned your room all year, Bill’s Christmas came to a halt. The TV was missing a part to connect to its base. I could feel the disappointment from across the room – where I was washing down the furniture. (he was playing with his toys…)

So, that began a turn of events that even Michael Moore would want to make a documentary about…

Just to set the scene – remember that we bought everything on Friday at the Best Buy in McHenry.

So, Abby had a soccer game in Algonquin – we decided to return the TV there and get a new one. We went there – they were happy to exchange it but they didn’t have the TV – the store in West Dundee did. So, we drove an extra 15 minutes and picked up the TV there.

You can bet that we opened the box and made sure it had all of the parts and then headed right home to set it up. We still had a few hours before the big game.

We opened the box, Bill hooked it up and there we stood looking at the TV – wondering what the two large blobs of blue were. Yep, they were cracks right up the front of the screen. You couldn’t see them unless the TV was on.

Could this really be happening?

So, as we do almost every Sunday – we went for pizza in Crystal Lake and decided we would return the TV there (our 4th Best Buy in two days). We walked into Customer Service and that is when things got really ugly… Michael Moore ugly.

The customer service girl got the manager who told us in no compassionate way – that there was nothing he could do. I expressed quite vocally the amount of money we spent on Friday and he really didn’t care.

Bill decided that foul language would bring us the results we needed – but instead the Manager, Aaron A. (A must have been for asshole) kicked us out of the store! I wish I were kidding but I am not!

Here we are two middle aged, professional people – being escorted like criminals out of the Crystal Lake Best Buy. And if that were insulting enough – Aaron says, “Have a great day.”

Of course Bill responded – but we won’t repeat what he said.

Now, you can only imagine what we were feeling. Frustration doesn’t even cover it… Out raged – enraged – furious - . If shooting people wasn’t illegal…

We got in a car and sped to the McHenry Best Buy. At the time, we didn’t even think – we just got in the car – hoping beyond hope that Jared would be there and make this all right.

We walked into the store and headed right to the TV’s – I spotted the manager Jason who had helped us Friday night and basically, in tears, unloaded on him everything that happened in the last 6 hours – and I believe that I said it all in two minutes.

I was gasping for air and Jason was saying, “It is okay… calm down…we can fix this.”

At the same time, Bill found Jared and was frantically expressing the last few hours of our life… and Jared was saying, “Bill, it is okay, we can fix this.”

And that is what Jared and Jason did – they fixed it all. In 15 minutes, we were leaving the store with our new TV – that we plugged in to make sure it worked. We were breathing again and not feeling like dirt or criminals but the decent people we really are.

Jared and Jason saved us from insanity that day and they saved the reputation of Best Buy. Had that gone any different – everything that we purchased on Friday would have been returned.

But, Jared and Jason did what was right. It might not have been policy – but they used their own judgment and treated a good customer with respect and dignity and trust.

And along the way they did manage to say that they have had complaints about the Crystal Lake store before. I guess Aaron A. (asshole) isn’t just an ass to us.

Of course, being the person I am – it will come as no surprise to anyone that Monday morning I spent 2 hours writing letters and sending emails to the general manager of the Crystal Lake store, the general manager of the McHenry store, corporate Best Buy and of course, a personal letter to Aaron A.:

Dear Aaron,

Since you were so concerned with our situation on Sunday, November 7 – we thought it was important to share how it ended.

After you so politely kicked us out of your store, we drove to the McHenry Best Buy and spoke with their manager, Jason. Instead of agitating my husband and allowing the situation to escalate – Jason took the time to listen to our frustration and used his managerial skills to calm us.

And, after realizing that we have spent over ****** at Best Buy in just the last month (******* of it at YOUR store), he knew the right thing to do was replace the broken TV. With in 20 minutes, we left the store with our new TV and once again felt like respectable human beings unlike leaving your store where we were treated like dirt and made to feel like criminals.

Aaron, you should re-consider being the manager of any store. You do not possess the ability to work with people and instead of addressing the situation at hand and overcoming the conflict – you choose the easy way out and force good customers right out the front door, slamming it behind them so they have no reason to return.

Best Buy should be ashamed to have chosen you for a manager and should realize that you are a liability to their image.

And as you so insultingly put it Sunday night, “Have a great day!”

Sincerely,

The Monroes

While I was eager to express my anger and disappointment with the way we were treated – after spending 10 years in Human Resources, I also know the importance of sharing compliments – when people do a good job… So, I made sure to include in all of my correspondence the outstanding job Jared and Jason did.

So, it has been a Hell of a couple weeks for the Monroe household. First the fridge broke, then the stove didn’t fit, then the sink wouldn’t go in and now the TV didn’t work and Aaron A. at the Crystal Lake Best Buy kicked us out of the store… Seriously, you would think that we would just high tail it out of the country, right?

I have said it before in my blogs – but the important part of all of this is that I am happy I get to share these horrific mishaps with my husband. After all the sweat and tears – it still comes down to us – making each other laugh and smile when it is all over – which we did when we finally sat down on the couch and watched the Packer- Cowboy game on our old, reliable TV in the family room!

Friday, November 5, 2010

Truths: “A” what?

It happened – I don’t know how… but Abby brought home her report card and written near the top it said, “Congratulations, you made high honor roll.”

Now to some parents that would be expected – something to read aloud and then put away – perhaps atop all of the other report cards that read the same way.

But in our house – that is not the case.

Abby isn’t slow, she doesn’t have a learning disability and has always done okay in school academically. I am proud to say that socially the teachers have always liked her and commended her for being kind and helpful and respectful.

We lived on those attributes for the last 6 years – saying that we were grateful to have raised a daughter who was those things – and that allowed us to accept that she was not going to be U of Illinois material. (Okay, these are things I struggled with… I spend my time writing for a living – how could my daughter be unable to complete a sentence. Why is it that I, at 10 years old, wrote pages of creative writing and she could barely complete a paragraph on her favorite summer vacation?)

Yes, I struggled and silently convinced myself that none of that mattered. Abby possessed what was important – the skills to be a good and gracious human being. Those, of course, are what matter on the road of life…

But, really deep down – I had aspirations for her – going to U of I – pledging my sorority – doing everything that I did… Because that is what parents do – want what they enjoyed for their children. (Okay, maybe I don’t want Abby to embark down everything I did… I had a lot of fun in college…) but I wanted to go down for parents weekend and visit her at my alma mater)

For the last two years we have toyed with the idea o f going down to Champaign for a football game so Abby could start to get the Illini bug… to see the campus and be mesmerized with the college spirit. Start ‘em young right? Brainwash them – make them feel like there is nowhere else they would rather be…

It’s sick, yes…but reality is that way.

But, with Abby being an average student – well, it almost seemed cruel. To set her heart on a school that academically would be a great feat for her… To set her up for failure – well, that was never part of the plan.

So, we stalled – we didn’t go to the games and we didn’t say much about the school – even though she already began to want to go there.

I am an honest parent and I tend to treat Abby as an adult and tell it like it is… so when she has brought up going to U of I – I have bluntly explained that she would need to pick up her grades and take school seriously – because to get in – she has to be in the top of her class.

I never said it meanly – I just wanted her to know that to have aspirations must also mean setting goals for yourself.

Usually, she would shrug her shoulders and walk away. And I would get out my college scrapbook and re visit my younger days – when late nights and skipped classes were my aspirations!

Abby started jr, high this year – and as far as we can tell – has done a fabulous job making the transition. It has been seamless and unbelievably – she has become so responsible and so much more interested in doing well in school.

She gets her homework done without constantly being told to do it – she keeps great notes and organizes her schoolwork. She keeps a calendar full of dates when things are due. I have no idea what happened – but somehow, along the way, she grew up.

That became amazingly true when she brought home her report card yesterday and it read, “Congratulations, you have made the high honor roll.”

I read it in disbelief. I re-checked that it was her name at the top of the paper – re-checked the grades and the teacher comments and basically sat gaping at my daughter’s report card – wondering what they did with Abby.

I am still wondering…

But, of course, I am elated. Sure I have pulled up the college application on the web and thought about printing it out to place on her desk as a reward… a motivation…

Or maybe I could buy her an ILLINI sweatshirt or a Gamma Phi Beta one as she journey’s toward MY dream… MY legacy.

It’s a hard choice right now – what to say – or how to say to her that we are so proud of her. I mean sure those words are easy – but do we load them with other expectations – glimpses of possibilities now?

No, probably not. We tell her how proud we are – what an amazing job she did and we leave it at that – we continue to do whatever it is that we have done to get her to here and we hang the report card on the fridge to show her it is important.

And okay… we subtly mention that we are getting tickets to next year’s homecoming game…

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Truths: Happiness when you least expect it

So, Saturday was our sink saga – and what was supposed to be a few hour project (I thought 20 minutes) became all day. But my daughter didn’t forget that we promised to carve pumpkins… because as she put, “We have NEVER carved pumpkins for Halloween and you said we would.”

Let me add that we have carved pumpkins before – no not every year but in years passed we have. I just wanted to make that clear. And if it matters, we ALWAYS go to the pumpkin patch to get them. What we have NEVER done is buy them at the store as an after thought. I know some people might and there are lots of things I buy at Walmart and Jewel but pumpkins are not one of them. I LOVE fall (Halloween I could take or leave) but fall… Our house is always decked out with corn stalks and mums and lots of pumpkins (just not ALWAYS carved) and scarecrows and black cats… Seriously, if it were acceptable, I would always have these things up all year. (Which I know would be about as white trash as the sink still sitting in my yard.)

Anyway, amongst the stress of our sink project gone bad – we took a deep breath, ordered a pizza and lugged in the cold pumpkins from outside. We took the box from the sink and cut it open and spread it on the table. (it was good to know that some part of the sink was going to get used).

We got out the knives and the pumpkin carving kit – which consisted of traceable designs (all of which were made for pumpkin carving professionals) and tiny little razor blades – did the box even come with an age appropriate designation? I am not sure it was even safe for me to use.

Abby found her design right away and I decided to take on one of the more professional ones of an owl in a tree… of course Bill was going to make a big G for the Green Bay Packers.

We had the music playing and the knives cutting and somewhere in the middle of it all – while I was silently questioning this ridiculous break from the job at hand: the sink – Abby said, “This is the happiest I have ever been – I love this night!”

Wow, right? When your almost 12 year old daughter speaks those words – it is hard not to be taken back – not to both be proud of the person you created and ashamed that you don’t take more time to do such simple things.

Take away the Wii, the iphone, the Disney channel and who knew these kids could still be happy? In fact, the happiest they have ever been.

As I traced my owl and heard her words, I smiled – not just an outward smile – but deep inside – I think I smiled with my heart. To know that this hour long, practically free, project brought my daughter such genuine happiness – I doubt I could have felt any better.

As I gulped down that feeling you have as a parent when you realize that somewhere between the laundry and the bills and everything else – you forgot to enjoy your kids and then, as I sighed, quietly, praising myself for my loyalty to doing this project – I was interrupted –

“Ow, I just cut my finger…OOOHHH it hurts, its bleeding… I need a band aid… I can’t do it anymore… It hurts… MOM!!!”

Yep, in an instant the pure emotional bliss I was feeling was slashed away - just like my daughter’s finger. That pure enjoyment felt only moments before was obliterated.

Bill tended to Abby’s finger as I continued work on my owl – laughing at myself for ever believing that we were having a Hallmark moment…Dreading the drama that would soon transpire instead.

Yeah, the drama started… but it settled fast and Abby quickly went back to work on her pumpkin – even doing a second.

It was just a speed bump on our yellow brick road that night… The elation lasted and 5 pumpkins came to life as we all celebrated our artistic creations.

It does pay to stop and smell the roses or in our case dig into the guts of a pumpkin and find solace in playing with sharp objects – but truthfully, we created a real family memory on Saturday night and that has certainly given me both the inspiration and aspiration to do it again…soon.


(I should add that my owl, who looks just like the picture – is unrecognizable to all who see it… Is that the letter “b” they ask… Oh well, I should stick to the old reliable pumpkin face next time!)

Monday, November 1, 2010

Truths: Everything AND the Kitchen Sink

So, if you have kept up with the blog – you know by now that my kitchen has become my enemy. The place I was hoping to turn into my sanctuary – this haven for a new hobby (cooking) has revolted against me. And for every new appliance I attempt to put in it – war breaks out.

This weekend was no different.

My dear, loving husband humored me and agreed to replace the ugly green kitchen sink. (of course, I know that he did it for two reasons: 1) to prolong the kitchen remodel and 2) he undoubtedly loves me… and a lot - this I know is true after what transpired)

Thursday night we ventured out and shopped for a new sink hours after my endoscopy. (If you have never had one – they place a probe down your throat to examine your esophagus and stomach – they give you these amazing drugs that put you to sleep and cause you to forget everything about the procedure… They also tell you that you shouldn’t make any important decisions for the rest of the day… But a kitchen sink shouldn’t qualify, should it?)

After browsing two home improvement stores, we settled on a beautiful stainless steel model and found an equally beautiful faucet to go with it. You may notice that when I speak of kitchen items – I describe them as art – mostly because in my house they are art – not actual working pieces.

All along our journey I re-assured my husband that according to the Home Depot how to video – this should take about 20 minutes. The video was only 5 minutes so I was padding it. My husband smirked as he paid for the sink and the faucet and the putty and the sealant and the water hoses and the strainers and… you get the idea.

Saturday was sink day. Bill got right to it. Unhooking hoses, garbage disposal, cutting the seal around the old sink. It didn’t take long and the ugly green sink was sitting on our driveway for all the world to see… To see that we have lived with this ugly old sink all of this time and to know we were getting a new one. We were the Joneses this time. Keep up with us!

The old sink sat in the drive as the new one modeled itself atop the sparkling stove (that if you remember doesn’t fit in the space) The sink gleamed and awaited its new home.

However, it would not be moving in just yet.

Everything that happened next was NOT on the how to video… that is all I know. The disposal didn’t work with the new drains we bought – the water lines did not fit the new faucet and the absolute worst was that the sink did NOT fit in the hole where the old one did. (yes, we bought the same size sink…just like I bought the same size stove but…)

No, everything quickly fell apart. My husband started the project at 11am and now it was 5 and he had made 3 trips to Menards… Cussed many times and I am certain said a few things about me under his breath.

But it was 5 and we were hungry and we had promised Abby that we would carve pumpkins…so we took a break from what was pure insanity and ate our pizza and watched our Tivoed Modern Family Halloween episode and laughed. We really needed to laugh.

The pumpkin carving story I will save for tomorrow’s blog because it deserves its own.

Needless to say that once the carving was done – the plumber quit for the evening – staring at the hole that was too small and undoubtedly wondering why on Earth he ever married me.

Sunday morning came and Bill was up bright and early to cut through the ceramic tile countertop and two layers of plywood that were preventing the new sink from fitting in.

Saturday I had spent cleaning the house because we had friends coming over to trick or treat… or should I say the kids would trick or treat and the adults would drink a few beers – at any rate – people were coming over.

Well, my cleaning was for not because once the grinding wheel started the dust flew EVERYWHERE and every inch of our house became brushed with a fine tan film.

The dirt was flying and the saw cutting and the sink job that should have taken 20 minutes was now on 24 hours.

We took a break and drove an hour each way to Abby’s soccer game – where they lost (again) and headed back home to beat the clock and have the sink in, the house cleaned and beer chilled before our friends came by… But yeah, who I was I kidding - that was never going to happen.

Instead I dropped Abby off at our friends and returned home to stand by the man I love and cheer him on to sink victory.

He did win and the sink went in – the hoses lined up and the disposal ran and the water flowed (without leaks) and the sink shined…

My dear husband just spend over 24 hours working on a sink project for me. And I spent 24 hours cleaning the house only to realize that every glass, dish and pot is still covered in dust.

But, the point is not that I have a new kitchen sink – even though I do – and I love it and I love even more that the green one is sitting in our driveway and probably will for a week or more showing the neighbors that not only we did get a new sink and they should be jealous but that we are now bordering on white trash with our ugly sink on the front lawn…

But the point is – my husband knew all along that my pipedream of a 20 minute project was ridiculous but he followed along anyway. He knew it was important to me and did everything under the sun to do it the right way. And while I love getting flowers and gifts – what he did this weekend says more about how much he loves me than any bouquet or bracelet. And that is why I love him…that and he is pretty darn cute!