Tails and Truths: Trusting in Something Bigger

Friday night as I enjoyed complete peace and quiet eating Chinese take out and catching up on all my Tivo shows…My husband away on a fishing trip and my daughter at her dad’s…a crazy thing happened.

My cat, Delilah (I call her MY cat because no one else gives a damn about her!) was meowing at the slider as loud as she could. I went to let her in and in her mouth was a mouse!

Now, that alone, wouldn’t alarm me – she has done it before – and while I hate that she is killing living things – it is nature. I am not a fan of letting cats roam the outdoors – but one look at Delilah and you know that before she ever came to our house – she lived outdoors. It is her place: outside. And, every morning she begs and howls to go out.

Keeping her inside would be cruel.

So, she walks in the house with this mouse… no big deal as I wait for her to drop what I am certain is a dead mouse. I planned to pick him up and place him in the yard.

However, this little mouse is not dead. He is squirming around as she drops him to the floor!

Maybe she knows that I don’t want her to kill them? But, this is not what I had in mind!

The mouse is obviously stunned… he just sits there. I assume that he is half dead and panic sets in… I tell her to kill it – just kill it… Because I know that I can’t and I don’t want to see it die a slow death or suffer at all.

I yell for the other cats to kill it as they all huddle around it staring at the amazing catch of the day.

The mouse isn’t really moving – only lying on his side and no one is killing it! Ugh..

Shall I smash it with a book? Step on it? NO, NO, NO – Me? I cannot do any of those things… Instead I place the mouse outside and decided that if, by the time I return, he is still lying there – I will keep him overnight for observation.

I run to the backroom in the basement and dig out the old aquarium and look for a make shift top for it. I find a box top that will fit and punch hole in it.

I go back to the patio and sure enough the mouse is still there. Damn it!

I shred paper towels and get some bird seed and a cap to put water in (nothing too deep or he will drown). I get the old wooden house that one of our hamsters used and set-up the hotel room for the night.

Yes, I have done this all before. I once rehabbed a mouse that my parents tried to kill with one of those totally inhumane glue mouse traps. I saw him suffering – his feet glued to the trap and I got him off. I washed that mouse a hundred times. The glue is so awful.

He stayed a few days and then I released him free of glue and his coat shiny after his hundred baths.

I also used to work at an animal rehab sanctuary… rehabbing squirrels, possums, etc… I knew what I was doing.

I went to the patio and picked up the mouse with a paper towel and placed him in his room for the night. He was shaking like a leaf. I put the aquarium up in my office – kept the lights off and closed the door. Darkness, warmth and quiet are the best three things for a frightened and potentially injured animal.

None of this was supposed to be part of my quiet night. Now, there was a mouse in our house!!!

The next morning it was pouring outside and when I went to see my house guest – I was relieved to find that he was just fine – he had eaten and he had drank the water and he had no problem walking around – even running.

But, it was raining out and that seemed like a cruel time to let him go. So, he stayed the night again.

Yesterday, it was cold and rainy and I admit I was starting to get attached so I kept him again.

And that is what made me really think… when does my participation is his life, my help actually become intereference?

This mouse – however comfortable I think he is in the aquarium – all the food he can eat, a little house to call his own and the fact that he is safe from all that could hurt him…

But is he happy? He cannot run freely.. he could be missing his family…sure he is warm but his real home might offer him the same.

Keeping him is only good for me.

How many other things do we spend too much time interjecting ourselves into – just because it feels good to us?

Something to think about….

It is a beautiful day today –and, however sad it might be for me – it is time that the little mouse be free. So he can return to his own life however hard or dangerous it might be.

Life isn’t about controlling a situation especially for others around you – it is about being a part of something bigger than yourself and trusting that it will all make sense in the end.