Truths: What would you take with you?

My grandma turns 91 tomorrow and the last few months have been hard ones. She has been in and out of the hospital and has now been diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure. Its not the end of the world but it has taken its toll and she is left with hard decisions.

For over 60 years she has lived in the same house and now, with her medical condition, it seems it is time for her to move to more of an assisted living facility. It is our hope that she moves to one in FL to be by my parents and to be able to enjoy warmer weather all year long – less chance to fall on the ice and who can beat sunshine 365 days a year?

The other day I was at her house and she got to talking about how she is thinking about the move and what she wants to take with her and what she wants to give away.

She had already spoken to neighbors about some things that they might be interested in but there were a few things that she really would like to take with her.

A table and chair set out on the front porch, two wicker chairs and her bedroom furniture. She has had these things since I can remember – at least 30 years but when I asked her about some of her other pieces she said, “Oh, no – those are old!”

It is all relative right? She went on to talk about how she was going thru her shoes and her purses and that she had a friend who doesn’t have much and she would like to give her a few things.

I could tell that she had been giving all of this a lot of thought. She has been cooped up in her house for quite awhile now because she isn’t strong enough to go out and I imagine that this is the kind of stuff she sits around and thinks about.

But it got me thinking… If your family was all grown up and you were living alone and it was time to move from your lifelong home to a smaller apartment – what would you take with you?

We all have so much stuff. I guess its like the old quiz, “If there was a fire in your house what would you take first?” (Besides your spouse, children and pets)

I started thinking about it and found myself at a loss… I am not emotionally attached to any certain pieces of furniture maybe Abby’s crib - but that would be silly to take to an assisted living facility! I mean I love all of my things but what would I feel worthy of going with me – to a place where I had to pare down and simplify?

I am still looking around my house and wondering…

What would I want to hold onto?

Pictures are certainly one thing – even though all of mine are either digitally stored on my laptop or in piles in a huge armoire in my bedroom… Maybe my jewelry box and everything that is in it. But beyond that, nothing comes racing to mind.

And that puts everything into perspective doesn’t it? What we truly value and what we just feel we need are obviously two different things.

It really is all just stuff. It fills our rooms and decorates our walls, clutters our dressers and cramps are cabinets. Some of it we physically need to live like clothes and pots and pans but the rest of it is just trivial.

One of the only things that first came to my mind was that I would have to have a dog. I can’t imagine my life without one especially when my family is gone or grown-up and I am all alone. That is what would have meaning to me. I could sit at any table and chair or on any sofa as long as I had someone to sit next to me wagging his tail.

But a dog is not a thing – it is a companion. Which makes me reason that nothing is worth having unless you have someone to share it with.

Maybe that is why I can’t come up with anything in particular that I would want to take with me because thinking about it means that I am alone and that is a painful thing to come to terms with.

Is that what it comes down to when you are 90?

And, if it does, then, it makes it very clear that each day we get to spend with the people we love is our gift. The memories we make with them, the moments we share are what we have left… those are what we take with us when we find ourselves coming to the end. It’s not the chairs my grandma wants but the memories of all the people who sat in them and laughed with her.

I just hope that when I get to that point in my life – my memories are so abundant that I won’t even notice I am alone well, kind of alone… my dog will be sitting next to me.