Truths: Marital Bliss?

Its true what they say – when two people meet and begin to date there is a sense of total euphoria. You can’t get enough of each other. The hand holding and kissing are unstoppable. The incessant phone calls and now, texts and emails. Communicating is constant and with every hello is an unwanted goodbye.

Falling in love is one of the most amazing feelings in the world – total admiration and adoration for one person – who undoubtedly is your soulmate. You realize that there is nothing the two of you can’t get through and want nothing more than to share every life’s journey with your partner.

And then comes planning the wedding and the babies crying and the long hours of work, not to mention the housecleaning and lawn mowing. Somewhere between all of that you are supposed to find time to gaze into each other’s eyes and daily renew the love you feel for one another.

Wake-up!

Whoever came up with the phrase “marital bliss” obviously loved creating oxymorons!

But seriously, how does one maintain that initial spark – those butterflies that took your breath away? Is it even possible?

As cynical as I sound – I think it is… I just think it is different – better really – at least it has been for me.

A dear friend of mine is having some marital issues (that is far more realistic that marital bliss) and it has made me re-examine my own marriage – fortunately coming to the realization that I really am happy.

You might chuckle when I say we have been married 5 years – aahh the honeymoon stage – but we have been together a lot longer and truthfully, we have been through a lot in just a short time. More than I would wish on anyone.

No we don’t spend hours holding hands or kissing at the movies – but I believe we still have those initial feelings – the initial belief that we can get through anything together and that there is no one we would rather share life with than each other.

I am grateful for that. All of this came together when yesterday our fridge broke down. I had mentioned to Bill the previous night that I had been hearing strange noises from it all day. He glanced into the freezer saw there was no ice, closed the door and said something like, “It just needs to make ice – maybe something was frozen up.”


As any woman would – I believed him – his strong mechanical background surely made him the expert in the situation – who was I to judge or doubt him.

The next morning as I poured my milk and drank it – it seemed warm… Odd – but maybe I was just imagining things. Later in the day, I happened to hear the noise again and I decided to take a look in the freezer and to my “surprise” everything was defrosting! There still was no ice and my pot pies were mush!

I have to admit that I smiled with joy – as though I just won a secret battle: I wanted a new fridge… Oh and yes, I smiled because, well, I was right – there was something really wrong with the fridge!

But, more importantly is when I called my husband – we could laugh about it, all of it: me being right – me getting a new fridge – the fact that since I don’t cook there were only a few things that were spoiling. What was disasterous (in a small way) was this moment for us – this tiny moment that reminds me why we are together because the small stuff is what is important and in times like these – we have a way of doing the small stuff right.

It sounds so ridiculous – but there is no one I would rather share the experience of a broken fridge with than Bill. Yes, I want to go to Australia with him and sail the Caribbean, drink ale in England but the truth is it is the day to day things that remind me how lucky I am.

No we don’t spend endless hours gazing lovingly into each other eyes anymore but when all is said and done – I am more in love with him now than I was when we got married – more in awe of him than when we dated and more eager to spend time with him than when he first asked me out.

Maybe marital bliss isn’t an oxymoron.